"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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