redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
