So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
