so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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