Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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