dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
