You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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