I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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