I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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