I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
