People with herpes should wear stickers.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
