i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Someone shattered a urinal.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Are we still banned from the library?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
