Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
