his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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