she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
