I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I will pee on everything he values.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize