how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
