So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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