dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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