I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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