Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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