dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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