I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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