your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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