I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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