No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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