since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
