this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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