Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
