keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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