I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
