Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
