Porn is love you can see.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
