dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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