It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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