Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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