All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
