I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
