i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think your dad took our porno
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
