I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
