i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Semen is not good for contacts.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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