Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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