It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
