I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
