David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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