I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Drunk is not a location!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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