I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im holly from the hills drunk
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
