i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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