But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
