i jhust puked up my retainher.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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