Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize