That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
