I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
