This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He felt like a one man threesome
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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