Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
