Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
