is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
