i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
